It takes a Village

“It takes a village to raise a child.” – African Proverb

This saying has been known for ages, and yet the meaning has been lost on this generation of parents. I’ve spoken about a few different issues plaguing this generations growing parenting crisis’. Parents seem to be constantly catering to their children and sheltering them from responsibilities and always thinking they can do no wrong without it being justified. And of course – I’m just a way better parent then you! Parenting is not a competition. And now I’m going to say it again for those who chose to skim passed it;

PARENTING IS NOT A COMPETITION

I’m not sure when exactly parents turned on the automatic defence switch and began going it alone, but this is a huge problem! Every child begins equal in the sense of morality and knowledge, and then parents , teachers, and the rest of society step in to help mold that child. Though somewhere along the line, the rest of society became the authorities and “trained professionals”!

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This was posted on one of our local Facebook groups and was a major “what the f* is wrong with people” for me! I am only sharing a fraction of the comments – clearly, however they are all quite unbelievable, and the perfect example to my point.     There is so much I would like to point out here;

1. The school is not doing their end… they should have absolutely brought together both parties upon request.
2. When they refused, this parent DID THE RIGHT THING to use other means of connecting.
3. I can’t even fathom those people who suggested calling the cops to criminalize these 8 year old boys!
4. The judgements put on this mother for trying to make things right is completely outrageous!
5. And don’t even get me started on the subtle threat / warning given to this mother!
6. And when did we start taking a childs actions out of the responsibility of the parent?

All of these comments are infuriating and are exactly my point to how we are now in an “every parent for himself” age. Let me just say real quick for those confused; 8 year olds bullying is normal – criminalizing them or their parents for it is NOT. 8 year olds bullying is normal – ridiculing the intentions of the “victims” parents is NOT. 8 year olds bullying is normal – making excuses for them instead of holding them accountable is NOT. No one wants to be the parent of the “problem child”, but they really only become a “problem” when they aren’t being held accountable for their own actions and decisions. When I was a kid, I remember being on the bullied end more often then being the actual bully. I also remember this one time when I was being very mean to a boy in our neighbourhood who was around my age, and no one gave second though to stepping in and bringing it to my mothers attention. I recall a few parents – including those of the little boy – coming together and bringing me to my door step to present the situation to my mother. I also remember being made to apologize and receiving further consequences afterward. When I was growing up, we “feared” our parents being called and other parents made that call without hesitation, judgements or fear of defensive response. Why is it that we are no longer expected to help and watch out for one another, and why are we now constantly on the defence thinking our children can  never do anything wrong? Why are we always looking to pass the blame? I’ve been on both ends of the bullying scale and so have my children. We don’t learn if we aren’t taught and bullies today turn into criminals tomorrow. I may not always know how to handle every situation my kids place me in, though I do my best to make sure they know when they’ve done wrong and are given the opportunity to do the right thing afterward.